I started this Tumblr on November 3rd, 2012 – that’s 6 years ago – and its purpose has always been to instill God’s love and the importance of self-love in whoever comes across it. All this time the things posted on here were also for me…so much for me…because I was struggling so much with accepting God’s love; and it was such a big fight to love myself as well. SELF-LOVE has been my biggest fight.
I get messages all the time from people about what I wrote in my description box. Today, I want to make something very clear though: I am no longer that shattered, broken, shell of a woman fighting my way through life.
I feel loved, whole, beautiful, wanted…no part of me is unwanted or lost or empty or broken. I’m NOT on a roller-coaster with God and I’m not unsure or questioning His love or presence.
Getting where I am has been a fight! It took a lot of tears and facing things that I wanted to keep hidden away. It took years of counseling and opening up and being vulnerable. It took years of allowing myself to not just be pursued by God…but allowing Him to hold onto me and love me – this was a fight, because love was always being offered and I never felt deserving of it, until now. I’ve ran away from God so much...for a while I said that ‘I am His prodigal daughter and I am so LOST and WANDERING’…so now that I’m feeling how I’m feeling…it’s hard to put into words…but like that Parable of the Prodigal Son I turned around and God was waiting for that moment and…He ran out to meet me; cause I’m His daughter and there has never been a moment where He did not love me or want me.
God won’t leave us broken! All He needs is our willingness to allow Him to work and if we give Him that He can take any trial and turn it into something beautiful. I don’t just believe that…I’ve lived it…I am living it. Being sexually abused can destroy any person but I fought hard and never gave up on myself. Facing those memories can break any person…and I learned to acknowledge the feelings and face them and hand them over too. “Take all your pain…your ugly…your baggage…put all that stuff in a box and give it to God” and leave it there!
I hope my blog inspires you to allow God into your heart and I hope you come to love Him and Love YOURSELF too.
‘You have captured my heart…my daughter…my bride!” Songs of Songs 4:9
God whispers, “You are my daughter. You are mine. You have always been mine.”